His Butler, Waiting
by CielsSebbyChan
Summary: Sebastian and his way of coping with the loss of his master. How will they spend their last moments together?
1. I'll Allow It

In the last few moments of his young master's life, Sebastian promised to remember him – to remember all the times they spent, and all the memories they shared together. There was going to be nothing that the Demon could do about his love's death – he had reached to conclusion that he hadn't hoped for, and he wouldn't want to remember someone so full of life and want for things in a bad way. The only natural thing to do would be to make their short time together the best they have had in a while, and in order to do so, Sebastian had sent the other servants to a different place, far from the manor so that they were not tempted to come and check on the young master. He would be the one to be there for the final moments. After all, he had promised him that when they made the contract those years ago.

Sighing as he made the final preparations for the servants, the Demon walked into his master's bedroom, seeing him asleep in his bed. It was undeniable that the sickness he was enduring was going to kill him. He could barely hear his heart beat enough as it is – it had substantially slowed since the week prior when he had initially gotten ill. He was not frightened at all. The young master was someone that was strong willed, and Sebastian knew that the young boy was well aware of what lied ahead of him. Even if Sebastian had to lose the soul he well thirsted for, he would help his precious master pass away peacefully, and in his arms if he so wished. For a few nights, Ciel had wanted nothing but to be in his butler's arms and to feel his embrace as his body clinged to the other. It was a heart wrenching scene, and Sebastian would always remember it.

Walking into the dimly lit room, Sebastian sat in the chair he had placed beside the bed, watching the way the fragile body would raise with each inhale, and decrease with every exhale, thinking that such a life as his young masters would be devastating to lose. Just the mere thought of losing the boy he had grown to love, the Demon felt wetness at his eyes. Was he… crying? He dabbed at his eyes, the wetness leaving small marks on his otherwise white gloves. Staring at the marks, he clenched his jaw, not wanting the boy to wake up and see him in such a state. It would, after all, tarnish his image and reputation. He couldn't risk something as small as crying get in the way of what really mattered – his master and his rest. He took the boy's hand in his, tracing the back of it slowly as when they did when he had a nightmare. The small touch was enough to give the Demon a small bit of hope that he would come out of such an illness, but he knew all too well he wouldn't. Not this far into it. He cursed himself for not fully knowing what was going on, and just what to do to help his young master. If he couldn't protect his master, then what is he doing being his butler, anyway? What was his purpose?

Shaking his head, Sebastian quickly avoided the thought. He had done what he thought would work out, and he had done all that he could. There was no more that he could do, and he had to come to terms with the fact he would lose his master, he would lose the love of his life. Setting his hand down, Sebastian leaned over the sleeping body and placed a small kiss at his forehead, looking at his facial features. Each time he did so, he could swear he would fall in love all over again. He gave a small smile before leaving the room and heading down the stairs to gather up the servants, giving them a little run down of what would be happening for the next few days, not wanting to tell them the condition the master was in. They knew, however, that he wasn't in the best of health, but they didn't know to what extent.

"But, Sebastian, why can't we come visit the young master? Isn't he sick? Shouldn't we be here for him then?" Meyrin had asked, her usual worried voice sounding even worse when she spoke of the only master she had and the only one she would ever have in her mind. Sebastian shook his head and tried to subtly tell them that the master didn't wish to have them see him in such a state, and that he would be able to see them once he was better. Of course, that was a lie. But, as a Demon, he was able to hide his feelings quite well. He bid them goodbye, their stuff already in the carriage with Tanaka at the driver's post. He nodded to the old man and they were off. It was eight in the morning, yet he felt as if it was only six. He knew the day would be extremely long, and it was one of the days he wished it wouldn't be. He couldn't stand to see his master in such pain for so long.

Hearing footsteps upstairs, Sebastian quickly found himself running up the stairs and into his master's room, seeing him trying to dress himself. He smiled softly and walked to him, sitting him on the bed before undoing the buttons of the night clothes he was clad in, looking him in the eyes. "How are you feeling today, my young lord?" He already knew the answer. He could tell just by the look in his master's eyes. He was tired. He was worn out. There wasn't anything that felt good on his body. Just knowing that without having to be told was Hell enough. He didn't need to be told – it would only hurt the Demon more, yet he would always ask him. He would always want to hear the small lie that the boy would emit.

"I feel better, Sebastian. Stop asking me."

Such confidence in an otherwise hurt and in pain body was something that ached Sebastian even more. Regardless, he smiled and nodded his head, beginning to dress Ciel in a soft-to-the-touch shirt and loose pants, not wanting to make him feel confined. He knew how sensitive his skin was, and he didn't want to make him feel any more pain than he felt. Once finished, he stood and grabbed the eyepatch that covered their contract, moving to place it over Ciel's eye as he did every morning before his hand stopped him. He looked into his master's eyes and furrowed his brow. "What is it, my young lord?"

It seemed like it took forever for the boy to find the right words, but once he found them, they were infinitely easier to speak. He looked into his Demon's face, a small smile playing on his face. It was a mock. It wasn't a real smile. Nevertheless, Sebastian would keep it in his memory. "I don't want to wear it. I'm not ashamed to have this contract with you, Sebastian. There's not a single person that would see it here. I don't want to hide you or cover you up anymore. Please, allow me to be proud of something I've done in my life." The words slowly lost their intensity, and became quieter and quieter. He could tell his master was getting weak already, and he could only hold him in his arms as he nodded. "Yes, my Lord."

Holding him, Sebastian focused on the way he was breathing and the way his body would move with a cough or a breath. "Young master," he began to speak, quickly to be interrupted.

"Please… Call me Ciel from now on,"

The small voice spoke out from the slight silence. He was surprised, nonetheless and he couldn't figure out what was being intentional and what was not. But, at that moment, he couldn't care less. He nodded and simply continued with what he wanted to speak about. "Ciel," he said in a more calming voice. "do you remember when we met? When we made the contract?" Gaining a small nod, the Demon continued. "I couldn't believe such a small person would summon me, I didn't think you would have a reasonable reason to summon a Demon such as me. But you did. I was surprised. I knew that things would be different with you. I've had a lot of masters, but you're the first one that I've loved. The first one that I will hurt when you are no longer in this world. I don't know what I would do when you are gone. Loving a human when you are a Demon isn't easy." He said softly, shaking his head before pulling the boy back to look into his eyes. "I will find you in the next life. Please, remember me."

Ciel looked confused, his eyebrows knitting together with each word, especially the last few he said. "Sebastian," he said, his voice cracking. "I couldn't forget you, my butler." He reassured the male that was holding him. What was he saying? That he wouldn't accept another offer? That he would initially starve himself until he would meet him again? That was bogus. "You don't mean you'd-"

"I'd wait until you would come back to me. That's all I will do. I won't take any more offers. I don't care the circumstance. Until I can see you again, I won't do anything. Please, allow me to do just that." The Demon said, looking at the boy he had fallen in love with, his head pushing into his chest. "Please, young master. I don't like the thought of losing you. I don't like the emptiness the thought makes me feel. I would much rather think that I could see you again in the far future. It would make me have something to look forward to, and something that is worth such a long wait. Allow me to, please." He said, his voice soft and slightly demanding, his hands tightening on the clothing he had placed on the boy. "That's all I ask."

"I'll allow it."


	2. How Rare

The tea was made, the food was prepared and it had only been an hour ahead of schedule. Without the other servants around the estate, the preparations and chores that he had was finished in no time. To be fair, he didn't have a lot to begin with. The estate was rather large, yet it was nearly always cleaned. He looked out the door, the black cat that waited for him walking up and meowing. He smiled softly and bent down, making sure that none of his hair would get on his clothing – not that the black fur would show, but he didn't want to get his clothing dry cleaned again for the second time in only the first day of the week. He ran his fingers through the cat's fur. "Just as silky," he murmured softly, remembering running his fingers through his masters hair the first night they spent together intimately. It wasn't awkward – for him, at least. It was a nice moment that they got to share, and he knew that Ciel enjoyed speaking to him about things he hadn't liked and what he liked. It was a loving moment and he wished they could have another moment like that, but with him being so ill, it was so unlikely.

He stood and bid goodbye to the cat, walking back into the estate and into the larger kitchen, grabbing the tray of the Earl Grey tea his master grew to love so easily. He smiled sadly, knowing that he wouldn't have a taste for it. He never did since he had gotten sick. It didn't anger him at all, and he would continue to make it just in case he had wanted to drink it. There's always a glimmer of hope in an otherwise unfortunate situation. He walked up the stairs and into his master's room, setting the tea down on the stand beside the bed before opening the curtains earning a small groan from the boy. He smiled and looked over at him. "I made your tea once again, Ciel." He said, remembering that he wanted to be called Ciel. It was very weird to be calling someone their first name. It was much more intimate, and he had thought that Ciel wouldn't want to be so intimate.

The boy sighed and looked at the butler. He couldn't deny that what he was doing for him every day was sweet. Especially the words he had spoken the day prior. Of course, Ciel wasn't able to stay conscious for much longer after that, having fallen asleep in his love's arms and sleeping the rest of the day and night. He had never been that tired in his life, and he didn't want to just sit around and do nothing. "Sebastian," he began, taking the cup of tea and taking a sip before speaking once more. "We are going out today. I don't care what you think. I just want to get out of this mansion. It's stuffy and depressing." The Demon widened his eyes at the statement and cleared his throat. "Where would you like to go, young master?" The silence was slightly overwhelming and he couldn't tell what the young boy had in mind, and yet he was slightly calmed by knowing that he had wanted to do something.

"I want to go pick some flowers by the lake. Where we used to go. You took me there once before, remember?"

How could he not? It was the first time that Sebastian had actually seen a real smile on the boys' face. Of course, after he pointed it out, Ciel had gotten extremely embarrassed and requested to leave the lake to which Sebastian had agreed, though he did tend to mess with the master and bring up that smile. Nodding, Sebastian grabbed the now empty cup of tea and placed it on the tray before walking to the opposite side of the bed, helping his master out of his bed as he began undressing him, his eyes trailing over his soft and untainted skin. "I remember. I'll take you there once more." He said before giving the boy a kiss on the forehead. "Sebastian," Ciel murmured. "Why do you kiss me on my forehead now? Is there something wrong with kissing my lips?" The Demon rose his eyebrow and shook his head. "Nothing. Nothing at all is wrong with your lips. I don't want you to lose breath is all. Do you not like kissed on the forehead?"

To that, he got no answer. Just a small "Hmph.". He smiled softly and placed a small kiss on his lips before looking into his eyes, his thumb caressing the skin under the eye that held the contract. "I'll always be here. Remember? Until the end and our contract is finally over. I'm you butler for eternity." He said softly, removing his hands as he kissed his lips and began to dress him up in nice clothing. "Is this to your liking, young master?" Receiving a nod, Sebastian smiled and finished, helping him to stand. "Would you like for me to carry you to the carriage, my young master?" He rather loved to carry the boy. He was tiny and fragile and he looked adorable in his arms – no matter what the boy had disagreed with him.

"Yes, please. I don't know how much I could walk." The small voice said, gaining a quick response from the Demon beside him. He picked him up and looked at his face, giving him a small smile as he began to walk outside and to the carriage that was in the back of the house. He placed him in the seat and made sure he was comfortable and warm before closing the door, his eye catching the way Ciel would touch his eye that held the contract. There was no doubt that Ciel was hurting – physically as well as emotionally. It must be hard for him to know what was bound to happen, and know that his butler couldn't do anything to help him out. To know that he would die without his soul to give to Sebastian. The Demon thought about it all the way to the lake, the way memorized with as many times as he would go during the times the young Lord was sleeping, picking flowers and setting them in the room, just to throw them away before the boy would wake up.

Arriving to the lake, Sebastian opened the door and picked the boy up, grabbing a small blanket that he had brought along to sit on the floor, and walked to the spot that Ciel liked the most – under a tree. He set up the blanket before setting the boy on the blanket. They were surrounded with many flowers, and seeing the relaxed look on the masters' face was purely reviving. He could tell just how much he loved the flowers that resided in this place, and he wished he could have him come here all the time, but he knew he couldn't do such a thing every day. It gave him a risk of getting even more sick, and he didn't want to make him worse. Was there even a worse condition he could get into? Probably not, but Sebastian liked to think that he wasn't too bad off.

He watched as his lovely master began to pick flowers and bring them to his nose to catch a scent that was barely there to begin with, a small smile accompanied his face when he placed the flower on the blanket. "Sebastian, these flowers, what are they called?" Sebastian looked at the ones he pointed at and gave a small smile in return. "They are called labelia's. They are very pretty and tiny. Just like you." The kid looked up at his master and smiled, crawling over to him and hugging him, laying his head in the crook of his neck, a small sigh leaving his mouth as he took in the scent of the butler he grew to love. "Sebastian," he said, his hands tightening on his tailcoat as he spoke. "I don't want you to make me remember that I am sick. I want to do things like we did before. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing you to do things and to go easy on me because of my condition. If you want something, tell me. I am going to tell you what I want. I don't want you to tell me we can't do things because it could make me sick, or it would hurt me. I just want to do it. Can you do that for me?" He said softly.

The words were somewhat of a surprise for the Demon who, without a second thought, wrapped his arms around the frail boy. His eyebrows furrowed at the words and clenched his jaw as he pulled the boy back to look at his face. It was red, the faint blush that tainted his otherwise pale and perfect skin. With a composure that only someone that had confidence would have, Sebastian caressed his cheek and nodded his head, giving him a small kiss. "I will. If that is what you wish for, my Lord, then it shall be done." He said, running his gloved fingers through the blue hair that the boy owned. The look of relief that fell upon the young masters' face was addicting. His features seemed to soften, and he couldn't help but trace his lines and delicateness with his eyes, once again falling in love with the boy all over again. Without thinking, Sebastian pulled the boy on top of him so he could hold him in a more closer way, a small sigh leaving his lips.

"I can never understand taste of your food, or the delicacy that are your drinks. I don't know the pleasures you humans have, nor do I know what you think when you hear devastating news. All I know is what we have here, that we know one another fully and trust one another enough to live. I don't know what you're thinking at this moment. Maybe I don't want to know," he said, holding the boy close to him. "It's rare, don't you think? A Demon falling in love with a human. Wanting nothing but to live beside the humans' side. To not eat his soul in the end." He heard a small sniffle coming from the boy in his arms. He blinked and looked at the boy, wiping his tears. "Young master?"

The boy smiled through his tears and shook his head. "Sebastian, your words are too beautiful. I won't forget them for as long as I live – no matter how many days I have left." He kissed the butler's lips and spoke softly against them.

"How rare and beautiful it truly is, that we exist."


	3. Nothing Like Us

A few days passed, and Ciel's condition was steadily getting worse. There wasn't anything physically wrong – he looked healthy, yet he wasn't at all. His breathing became shallow, his energy was completely gone – Sebastian had to carry him absolutely everywhere. He didn't hate the small change in duties, he only cared for what was beneficial to his master. He would carry him into the bathroom when he would need to bathe, carry him to the carriage and to places he wanted to go, and would carry him just to hold him. There were times, though, when Ciel didn't want to be held or touched. Those were the times when he felt pity for his own self – not knowing what he wanted and not knowing what he wanted to give to Sebastian after he died. There were all kinds of thoughts running through his head, and he didn't know how to sort them out at all. To him, nothing made very much sense at this point, and all he could do is remember when he and Sebastian had first met, and the words that were spoken to him. They were touching, and he hoped that they would stay with him even in the last moments that he had. There still was no determinate as to how long he had, so he wanted to do as much as he could with his butler as he could.

As the sun began to lower itself passed the trees, Ciel sat in his bed, tea in his hands and rings on the bedside table. He couldn't help but sigh out loud, his thoughts getting the best of him as he let a small tear fall from his eyes. "I can't give you what you want, and I'm sorry," he said softly, to nobody in particular. The room was empty, however he had directed it to his butler. He looked down at the tea and smiled sadly, swirling the cup around a bit just to watch it splash over the top slightly and stain his night clothing. He hummed softly, setting the cup on the night stand and tried his hardest to get out of the bed and stand. With hands on either side of the bed, he hoisted himself over the edge, catching himself right before he lost balance. He stood there, blinking his eyes as he stared at the floor. He had become dizzy, yet he was fortunate that he wasn't going to fall. He took a small step toward his bathroom before falling, his hands pushing out in order to catch him. As he fell, he let out a small "oompf,", his head barely touching the ground before he looked up at the hands that caught him just in time.

"Young master, what are you doing out of bed?" Sebastian's soft voice rang out, a look of sincere concern showing. He picked him up in his arms, placing a small kiss on his cheek as he stood still, not sure as to what the boy had wanted to do in the first place. Ciel's face turned a light shade of pink as he looked away from his butler who was, once again, there before he could make a bigger fool of himself. He cleared his throat as he realized that the male that was holding him was actually waiting on an answer. "I-I, um, well. I spilt my tea on my night clothing. I was going to go the bathroom to wipe it off. Honest." He said, looking his butler in the eye before pointing to the barely visible mark on his gown. Sebastian looked down at the mark and barely emitted a chuckle before laying the boy back on the bed, shaking his head. "Young master, it is but a speck. I will remove it if it pleases you, but you needn't worry about suck a speck. Especially in your state."

"Sebastian." His voice was stern. The Demon widened his eyes and looked at the master that he was so close with. "Young master?" Came his response. He was certain that he had done something wrong, yet he couldn't pin point the exact thing at all. Ciel sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. Please, just.. lay with me until I fall asleep. I want to fall asleep in your arms. They soothe me." Sebastian looked at his master and relaxed into a nice smile, bowing his head. "As you wish, my young lord." He made his way to the other side of the bed that the boy wasn't occupying, and climbed in, making sure that his shoes and gloves were off. Pulling the boy to him, Sebastian let him rest in his arms, feeling just how tiny he had gotten. He frowned and just laid there, holding his precious master to him as if he were a doll. In that moment, he could be. He was so tiny and so fragile. Sebastian could practically feel the bones his master had, and he knew he shouldn't comment upon such a thing.

"What are you thinking about, my butler?"

The question made the Demon look down at the boy in his arms, a small hum in thought leaving his lips. "Well, I was just thinking about some of the things that we could do in the morning. That is, if you wanted to do anything. Of course, we could lay around all day and I could hold you if that is what you'd prefer." He honestly meant it, even if they have done that ever since he had gotten worse. Holding him for this amount of time – before he fell asleep, as he napped, any time he wanted to be held, Sebastian couldn't and wouldn't refuse the master. It wasn't an order, and he knew that he could decline, but he wanted nothing more than to hold his small master until he grew tired of him, or until he passed. "I want to go to the meadow again.. For the last time. I want to say goodbye to the flowers." The small request sent a wave of slight pain up the Demon's spine – the pain of a loss that wasn't prominent yet. He nodded his head and smiled to the boy. "Of course. I'm sure they'll be sad that you're saying goodbye so soon, but we will go nonetheless." He said, placing a kiss on his forehead.

It didn't take long after that when the small boy had fallen asleep. Sebastian had listened to his breathing and found that his time on the planet that he called home was coming to an end. He cursed himself for paying such attention. The realization was becoming to be too much for the butler, since he didn't know how to take it or deal with it. Holding the boy to his own body, he could feel the warmth he still had, keeping it in his mind. He couldn't reciprocate the same feeling for the boy, but he knew that he could keep it for himself to hold onto when he no longer had his young master anymore. "I'll stay by your side until you no longer need me, young master." He said softly, his fingers running through the soft hair on the boy's head, placing soft kisses on his skin. A small tear fell from his eye, landing on Ciel's cheek as he slept, rolling down to his lips. Sebastian was quick to wipe it from them before the boy could taste the saltiness.

He knew his order was to stay with him until he had fallen asleep, but the look on the young lords' face as he held on him was something that Sebastian wanted more of. It was a look of trust, love, warmth, and made Sebastian feel as if he were a part of the boy's family. He watched him as he breathed slowly, a symbol of his current state of rest. He knew just by looking at him that he wasn't having a nightmare, but a peaceful dream. He hoped that he could give the boy a few more peaceful nights before he was to retire and leave the earth.

"Naturally, there's nothing like us, young master. You're simply one of a kind." The Demon's voice said softly as his finger traced the memorable lines the boy had on his face, stopping at his lips. He let out a soft sigh and leaned forward to place a slight kiss there, feeling the small exhale of breath the other emitted, choosing at that moment to just wait and watch to make sure he would be alright.

However, within an hour, Sebastian could hear his breaths become more and more shallow. He furrowed his brow as he watched the boy, clenching his jaw. His young master was still sleeping peacefully, but the Demon began to realize that he was going to lose his love that night. A small tear fell out of his eyes as he put his hand on Ciel's chest right over his heart. There typically wasn't any need for it – he could hear Ciel breathing, but he wanted to make sure things were going to end that night – all the pain and suffering would be put to an end. At least, he had hoped. As much as he didn't want for the young Lord to die, he didn't want him to suffer any more.

"Young master," his voice rang out in the silence just low enough to not wake the boy. "I've a request for you as well." He said as he pulled him closer, placing a kiss on his lips, his own lips an inch or two away from Ciel's as he spoke. "Remember me, please. I'll find you and I promise we will be together again, but please remember me. That's all I ask." He placed another kiss on his lips and swallowed the lump in his throat as his gaze caught the boy's beauty once more. He leaned forward, placing his forehead against his. "Take my breath as your own, and take my eyes to guide you home…" He said, reciting the piece of a poem he had liked due to Sebastian's eyes. He opened his eyes and looked at the boy with his demon eyes, glowing a brilliant color as the boy took his final breath.

Sebastian laid in the bed until morning, holding the lifeless body of his master in his arms as he looked at his face. He smiled sadly, a tear falling down his cheek. "There really is nothing like us," he said, saying his goodbye to the only human to show him how to love in a world of hatred and opportunity.


End file.
